


the shadow of mountains will not fall on your heart

by areyoumarriedriver



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Pond Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/areyoumarriedriver/pseuds/areyoumarriedriver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No, you know, because we’ve joked about it. Amy has been like ‘oh his dates’ and we’d have a good laugh. But everything is different now. Everything. And you’re going to stand there and tell us ‘she’ll find us’ like that’s acceptable and it isn’t Doctor. It isn’t. So no, we’re not going to toddle off to bed while you somehow find the means to spend the night with my daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the shadow of mountains will not fall on your heart

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago - sort of as a scene I needed after Let's Kill Hitler ended. I started to spin it off into an adventure and never ever finished it, so I reworked it a bit for posting. I should do that with all the unfinished fic I have oh my lord.

**_the shadow of mountains will not fall on your heart_ **

“That’s not an answer, Doctor,” Rory growled as he followed the Doctor up the stairs, Amy close at his side. The Doctor continued down the hall quickly, only to be halted by Rory’s hand on his arm, his grip surprisingly firm. He turned to face Rory, who stood there with a thunderous expression. “I trust you with everything you never tell us – you knew about Amy all that time, and I forgave you for it. You’ve kept us in the dark countless times, Doctor, but this is _my daughter_. And I don’t give a damn if she grew up with us, or is older than us, or isn’t quite human, or a trained psychopath, or a murderer or not. She’s my daughter, and I need to know she’ll be okay. You can’t seriously expect us to just toddle off to bed after leaving her there, all alone. Amy’s told me, you know – you see her at night while we’re asleep.”

“Rory-” The Doctor fell silent at Rory’s glare and raised hand. He glanced at Amy, who fidgeted uncomfortably at her husband’s side, but she avoided his gaze. She wouldn’t say it out loud, but the Doctor knew – she agreed with her husband and it showed in how she stood firmly behind his shoulder, her hands twisted together in front of her and her eyes pinned to the walls around them.

“No, you know, because we’ve joked about it. Amy has been like ‘oh his _dates_ ’ and we’d have a good laugh. But everything is different now. Everything. And you’re going to stand there and tell us ‘she’ll find us’ like that’s _acceptable_ and it isn’t Doctor. It isn’t. So no, we’re _not_ going to toddle off to bed while you somehow find the means to spend the night with _my daughter_.” Rory finished with a glare, and the Doctor swallowed heavily.

“It’s not that I find her Rory,” he finally spoke into the thick silence, his eyes fastened on Rory – the boy who waited – but hadn’t changed one bit. Rory’d always been the one who could stand up and tell him how it was, from the moment they’d met. In retrospect, River was so like both of her parents; the Doctor had spent many hours wondering how he’d never _seen_ it, plain as day.  “It’s that the TARDIS usually takes me to her. Sometimes I just run into her, sometimes it’s Stormcage. And I didn’t – I didn’t _know_.”

“But all those months, while we waited. While you were looking for Melody – how long was that for _you_ , Doctor?” Amy finally spoke, her voice soft but strong. “How many times did you see River then? You left us at that base – you were so _thrilled_ that she was Melody. You left _me_ , to mourn my baby and you did it with a smile on your face. Did you know how long River had to stay with us afterward? How many times I begged and pleaded with her to just _tell me_ what had happened? How I couldn’t quite – I mean yes, she was our daughter but she wasn’t my _baby_.  Do you know how many times I _called_ you? How many ways? Where were _you_?” Amy brushed an angry hand across her face as she stared at him, her eyes glittering and Rory’s arm around her waist. “It’s been all – all Mels shooting the TARDIS and Hitler and suddenly she’s River, and she’s killing you and then they were hurting her and we saved her and she saved us and then you – it’s been _insane_. But don’t you for _one second_ think that I have forgotten those three months, mourning the loss of a child I didn’t even _know_ about. But _you did_.” She sniffled as she glared and he felt his hearts sink lower and lower, the weight of every word sinking into him as he closed his eyes.  “Rory’s right. You see her almost every night, and tonight – we’re going with you. I need to see her. I need to _hold_ her, for just a little bit and understand everything. We need to see her tonight, and if you think I’m going to bloody bed, you are a moron. Now come on. Let’s go – Stormcage then, yeah? Fly, Doctor.” She commanded sternly and he nodded slowly, edging past them and moving back toward the console room.

“For the record, I just thought you needed time to absorb everything properly,” he spoke in a low tone as they followed him back down the stairs.

“For the record, we do need time to absorb it. Time with our daughter.” Amy responded as he input the coordinates to Stormcage. The time rotor rose and fell, and he turned to the Ponds as the ship landed with a gentle wheeze.

“I’m sorry, I truly am. To both of you – to River, all of you. I never thought – you were right, Amy. I knew – suspected really, maybe had an inkling from River, that I wouldn’t find your baby. I just – I didn’t know how to say that. How could I _say_ that to you?” He felt tears sting his eyes as he shook his head and bore the censure in their gazes.  “You see, the very first time I met River, I promised her – I wouldn’t change one line of our history together. I promised her that. And I promised you too, my Amelia,” he looked at Amy carefully and she sniffled slightly, holding Rory’s arm even tighter. “And I didn’t know – who did I – which promise did I keep?”

Amy nodded silently, staring at him in concentration. “You could have come and told us that. That much, Doctor. Just that much, surely,” her voice was soft, but he felt the twist of guilt as if she’d shouted.

“I made a mistake, Amy. I know that. I’m going to-” he hesitated and looked at them both in question. “That is, I thought it would be best if I went out and got River. Explained to her when you are, so she knows what to expect. Is that – is that alright?”

“Yeah, that makes sense. We’ll wait here,” Amy nodded, wrapping her arms around Rory’s waist and hugging him. Rory simply stared at the Doctor.

“Not _too_ long, Doctor,” his voice held a steely warning and the Doctor nodded, before heading down the stairs and pulling the doors open and shutting them quickly behind him. He’d parked as usual, right in front of River’s cell, and she already had the alarm disabled and the door open, leaning against the bars with a smug grin.

“Hello, sweetie,” her voice was low and he stared at her, the echo of the last time she’d spoken them in his ear, after pulling him back to life, and giving him – he swallowed heavily as he stared at her. Her smile slid from her face as a look of concern replaced it. “What is it? What’s the matter?”

“River Song,” he dredged up a smile as he walked toward her.  “It’s – I’m fine, I promise. When are we for you?” She reached for him as soon as he came close enough, her hands smoothing over his tweed lapels as her eyes searched his face anxiously.

“I just saw you last week – at Amy and Rory’s - The Pandorica,” she amended and he sighed in relief. He’s not seen her this old in a long while, but he thinks it is perfect. Oh bless his ship for knowing, they’d need _this_ her. His hand reached up and covered hers, his fingers wrapping around it gently and squeezing as he stared down at her.

“The wedding,” he nodded and she nodded back. “We’ve just – we’ve just done Berlin-”

“Oh, _honey_ ,” she tugged her hands from under his and stepped into him, her arms wrapping around his frame as she hugged him tightly. His arms wrapped around her, warm, solid – _safe_ – and he buried his face into her hair. So much had been given and taken away from him tonight. When he’d realised she was regenerating – for one wild minute, he’d hoped it wouldn’t be into this face. He’d prayed and prayed for five, ten, twelve faces before this one. Not that he didn’t absolutely adore this face – but she was as close to a Timelord as he’d ever get. And he’d wanted regenerations with her. But all that hair had sprung forth, and his hearts had twisted – knowing that this was the face she’d died with.

No new faces.

He hitched a deep breath in, one of his hands sliding up her back to tangle in her hair tightly. “You shouldn’t have done that River,” he whispered into her ear. “We could have had forever.”

She pulled back, looking up at him with old eyes. “Oh sweetie, no one gets forever. Not even you, my love. And if I’m careful – and I’m _very_ careful, honey – I’m older than you think, Doctor.” She smiled up at him, a hand coming up to cup his face gently, her fingers ghosting along his jaw as he stared down at her with a faint smile.

“I hope so, River. I hope you’re _ancient_ ,’ he teased gently and she glared up at him.

“Cheeky sod,” she muttered. “You’re – why are you here now though? This late, I mean – not that there’s a rule against it, but generally all I’ve seen lately is your younger self.” She frowned as she spoke and he nudged his hip into hers with a grin.

“Enjoying me then?”

“It’s an excellent exercise in my patience and ability not to slap you silly, sweetie.” She smiled up at him as he rolled his eyes.

“Oh don’t even pretend like you didn’t just _love_ driving me mad with all the spoilers, River Song. Knowing more than me, lording it over me every chance you got – you were shameless.” She laughed, arching a brow at him.

“You didn’t deserve it?”

“No, I most definitely deserved it. And – I’m loathe to admit it, but I rather loved it a bit. Frustrating, but so very not boring.” He smiled down at her and she giggled softly, her arm around his waist tugging him closer.

“I do try to never be _that_ ,” she murmured as she rose on tiptoe and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. He returned it briefly, but the thought of Amy and Rory waiting in the TARDIS was ever present in his mind.

“Your parents are in the TARDIS,” he whispered as he looked down at her, brushing her hair back as her eyes widened in comprehension.

“Oh, they must be in an awful state,” she breathed the words out and he nodded.

“And very cross with me,” he swallowed. “Rightly so.”

“It’s not your fault, Doctor,” River insisted softly and he shook his head in disagreement.

“I had my part in things, River. And I handled it atrociously – they’ve every right to be furious with me. They wanted to see you, insisted I take them here, actually. I thought you might like a bit of warning.” He spoke softly and she nodded, dropping a quick kiss to his cheek and stepping back, her hand sliding into his.

“Thank you, my love. Shall we?” She walked alongside him, her fingers braided through his, but he knew he’d have to let go once they got inside. As much as he had to deal with the events of Berlin, now was not his time – it was the Ponds. They deserved that, _she_ deserved that. His own guilt was to be nursed and dealt with on his own.

He moved to release her hand as they reached the doors, and she squeezed his before releasing him, turning to smile up at him reassuringly. The ache in his chest eased somewhat – because he knew – if anyone could make this better – it was her. It had always been her, every single time. The four of them together just worked better, and he’d never realised how much of that was down to River. Explaining where he didn’t have time, soothing when he failed to, scolding him when the Ponds would not.

“River!” Rory was down the steps instantly, hesitating for only a moment before hugging River fiercely as Amy hung back, gripping the railing at the bottom of the stairs as she watched them with wide eyes. The Doctor stepped back and pushed the doors shut behind them as River laughed and hugged Rory back.

“Hullo, Dad,” she giggled at Rory’s shocked face and arched a brow. “Oh not _quite_ there yet?” Her teasing was gentle and seemed to have broken the tension as Amy inched forward. “Amy,” River smiled and reached for her mother’s hand, and all of a sudden Amy embraced her tightly, tears spilling out of her eyes as she hugged her so tightly that the Doctor found himself rather hoping River had a Timelord lung capacity – surely she couldn’t breathe at the moment.

“I didn’t want to leave you there, I didn’t.  Oh my god, River – Melody – god, _Mels_ ,” Amy pulled back and smacked River’s shoulder. “Oh, stealing buses is _not okay_. And oh my god, I know when you had your first proper drunk and I _told_ you about my first-” Amy’s flood of words stopped as she glanced from Rory to the Doctor. “Oh god, this is properly, properly _weird_. You’re my daughter. But you were my _best friend_.”

“I am your daughter. And I will _always_ be your best friend. It’s not _normal_ , I know.  But I can be both, can’t I?” River’s voice was soft and Amy gripped her hands tightly as she stared at her in awe.

“Did you ever look like us?” Amy asked with a whisper, her hand reaching up to trace along River’s cheek and jaw as River nodded and Rory hovered nearby.

“More Dad than you, really. I mean – you saw me as a little girl. I had his hair. Your nose though. Now I appear to have a bit of his this go round,” River laughed, touching her own nose and wrinkling it.

“I saw you as a little girl...” Amy trailed off before she gasped. “I _shot_ you – oh my god, I shot you. And you _knew_. You knew I was your Mum because they had those pictures for you and you knew and I _shot_ you, oh my god, I am so _sorry_.” She hugged River again, and River shushed her, rubbing Amy’s back gently.

“You didn’t know. You thought I’d...” River trailed off and glanced in his direction, not aware that he already knew what Amy had thought about that girl in the spacesuit. _What are you doing? – Saving you!_ His mind grasped the idea of it – Amy had said he’d invited them to his death. _Because you invited us to see it – your death!_ The girl in the spacesuit. Melody Pond.

His eyes turned to River and he felt the cold confirmation of knowledge falling into place. _April 22 nd, 2011_. “Oh, River,” he whispered the words to himself as she soothed her mother, Rory hovering around both of them. The more the Doctor thought about River’s life, the more that ache bloomed within his chest. She’d made him promise – not one line. She’d made him promise _knowing_ full well he’d never have agreed, had he known. “What have I done to you?” The words were a tiny whisper and his ship hummed at his back soothingly. It was a problem, because the more he knew, the more he absolutely loved the woman in front of him, but the more he discovered, the more he absolutely hated his own role in her life.

“You didn’t know,” River continued, her hands running up and down Amy’s arms. “You were scared, and I forgave you even then. I don’t – I don’t remember much from back then. I remember thinking I didn’t know your hair was _so_ red. I remember thinking you were strong enough to fight, and that I could be that strong too. You didn’t know it Amy, but you helped me. You did.”

“I should have saved you then. All that time, you were _right there_ , asking me for help and I-” Amy ran a hand over her face as she sniffled.

“I wish it had been different,” Rory finally spoke up and River turned to him, shaking her head.

“No but don’t you both _see_? It couldn’t have ever _been_ any different. I know you’re both angry at the Doctor right now, but that’s not right. It was me. Always, _me_. I’m not saying that it wasn’t – it was difficult at times. But I got to watch you both grow up around me. Amy, you mothered me before you even knew who I was. And Rory – good lord you would have pined from afar forever if I had never pushed you. Or _you_ ,” she turned to Amy. “Think about it, if I’d never been taken, would I have ever existed to begin with? If there were no Mels, constantly saying it was always going to be you two – would you have realised Amy? Would you have ever plucked up the courage, Rory?”

Amy and Rory both stared at her in shock and the Doctor frowned, trying to follow along as best he could, without all the particulars. Amy nor Rory had ever mentioned Mels to him previously, so he wasn’t quite sure what they were talking about. Rory shook his head, “Wait so... essentially, you ensured your _own_ birth. That’s... that’s just creepy.”

River laughed and shook her head. “Back then it was about that. But it was also about the fact that I had a story in my head – and that story always went like this – my mother loved me very very much, but more than that, she had absolute and utter faith that there was a man who would never rest until we were safe. Who loved us both so much, that he would tear the universe apart for us. My father. Of course you were for each other. For _me_. But for each other first. And now, we’re safe. And it’s a little bit different than you expected, and I know that’s odd. But we can rest now.” River spoke softly, one hand holding Amy’s and the other holding Rory’s as they both stared at her in shock.

“Well she certainly didn’t get that wisdom from _your_ side of the family _,”_ Rory finally spoke drily and Amy turned and smacked his shoulder.

“Oh yeah? Well she certainly got her braveness from me, stupid face. Plus my charm and good looks.” Rory made a scoffing sound at that and River laughed, before stepping back and giving them all a bit of breathing space.

“So is this just Pond family time on the TARDIS, or are we going adventuring?” River asked with a grin, as she reached back to take the Doctor’s hand and drag him forward. “Not that I need you to fly, sweetie, but I wouldn’t want you feeling neglected.”

He stumbled up next to her, shaking his head. “No, no – this is – is your time. I’ll just drop you off somewhere, or you all can go bond while I rewire the thermo couplings or-”

“The last time you did that honey, the whole ship almost exploded. And I don’t know about you, but I can only take so much crying before I need to _shoot_ something.”

“River!” All three of them protested and she laughed, throwing her head back. 

“See? Isn’t it nicer when you’re all getting along and keeping me in line? Now come on, sweetie, there must be _some_ planet you’ve not taken me to yet. Something fun,” she adjusted his bow tie and smoothed a hand along his shoulder as she pressed against his side with familiarity that had Rory glowering at him over her shoulder.

“River, you should, ah,” he stepped back a bit and watched as her eyes flashed with immense amusement. She was doing it on purpose, and he glared at her. Well, he tried to glare at her; it was a bit difficult since her hand on his back had slipped lower as she squeezed his bum. He yelped and scrambled up the stairs. “Right! An adventure. Running and hopefully murderous aliens, and distractions of all sorts!” He clapped and turned to the console. “What are we in the mood for?”

“Well what have you got?” River had joined him at the console, a smirk on her face as she leaned against the console.

“For the record, not sure _how_ okay I am with the flirting now. This is all very odd. They’re married right?” Rory followed Amy up the stairs, and Amy rolled her eyes.

“Course they are!”

“No, we are _not_!” The Doctor spluttered. “That would be rude – I mean, I’d not – just do that without permission,” he protested and Rory nodded happily as River glared at him. “Not that you’d _need_ permission, because you don’t – you’re River, and completely in control of your own life – but I’d just – it’s... polite? Why are we even _discussing_ this? We’re not married-”

“Aren’t we?” River arched a brow as he spluttered and Amy laughed.

“Oh you _so_ are! Maybe. Just – give me a bit of time before I have to think about the implications of that,” Amy frowned and River outright giggled at that.

“Yes, _shall_ we have that awkward family discussion? I mean you _did_ tell me about the Byzantium in rather _explicit_ detail when I was Mels-”

“Oh god!” Amy turned a bright red and clapped a hand over River’s mouth. The Doctor frowned until he remembered the _end_ of that particular adventure and he flushed as well.

“Amy!” He scolded and she removed her hands to put them on her slim hips as she glared at him.

“You’re in just as much trouble!” She snapped and he slid his gaze to River who was staring at him with an entirely too amused look on her face and an arched brow.

“Well I suppose that depends on how you look at it. It hasn’t happened for me yet-”

“Wait if Amy told you about the Byzantium – that’s _spoilers_ , River Song!” He shook a finger at her and she shrugged unrepentantly.

“She didn’t know that, now did she? And besides, I only know what Amy knows. No idea what we get up to when we’re alone,” she smiled at him, “though given how young you were, I seriously doubt it was much.”

Amy had walked over to hug Rory’s side, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she whispered in his ear. The Doctor continued to watch River, swallowing heavily, before opening his mouth, “You know that was – I mean that I’ve never... not Amy. She’s Amelia, that’s not – not how-”

“Oh sweetie, don’t hurt yourself. I know.” She placed a hand on his arm and squeezed gently as she smiled softly up at him. “So, where to then?”

He latched onto her change of subject with a grateful grin as he sidled a touch closer to her. “Well, there’s a planet that specializes in _bouncing_. Everything is bouncable, the floor, the pavement, the grass, the dirt – all of it, like a giant bouncy castle. Oh speaking of bouncy castles, there’s a space station that houses the universe’s largest collection of bouncing castles – low grav too. We could go there! I may slide – I love a good slide – or swings – or we could go to an _amusement park_. That’s a great family outing! Space Disney! Haven’t been there in an age. Or maybe a _faire_! I love a faire – we could do a concert or see Shakespeare’s first play or-”

“So, adventure then?” Amy deadpanned and the Doctor paused, tugging at his lapels and sniffing as he glanced at Amy haughtily.

“Yes, Pond, _adventure_.”

 


End file.
